I've spent a good majority of my adult life being the bucket holder for my friends to vomit into. Let me further explain that....
My friend calls, has life drama, so he/she vomits his/her shit all over me and into the bucket which I'm then responsible to tote around until I find a place to dump it. And trust me I need to dump it quickly because they'll be back to vomit more and if the bucket is full....guess where the overflow goes?
I don't mind so much...as long as someone is there to hold my bucket. There's the rub. I have yet to find someone willing to hold my bucket. Wait, I take that back, there was one who was willing, but used that "service" as a negotiating tactic to get sex. "I listened to you when no one else would, can't you hook me up because I'm such a great guy?" Ummmmm yeah...NO!
I'll give you a few examples and let's see if you think WFT?!?! like I did....
Girlfriend 1 - I had a stroke several years ago and was then having these episodes that I thought were mini-strokes, aka aftershocks. GF1 calls and says "how ya doin?" I say "not so great I think I've been having mini strokes and need to get back to the doctor to find out what's going on." GF1 - "oh don't feel bad, guess who stopped by my house today?!" She went on to tell me about some chick that was married to her ex-husband's brother who she couldn't stand.
You're doing the "Scooby-Doo-head-shake-while-staring-at-a-two-headed-sea-monster" face right? Uh huh...thought so!
Girlfriend 2 - would call 3 or 4 times a week to vomit her day on me which consisted of every minute detail of the last 10-12 hours. I shit you not, she would talk non stop about every little thing...about all 4 of her kids, her mother, boyfriend, people she worked with, the bitch in the drive-thru, her doctor's appointments (tons of them, she's very ill), everything. These conversations would last 1-3 hours and only when she was dry heaving because she had nothing left to puke....would she ask, "so how are you?" By this time I'm so freaking exhausted from listening to her in between her talking to her kids and or boyfriend....SIDE NOTE - I HATE THAT SHIT, IF YOU'RE ON THE PHONE WITH ME, UNLESS SOMEONE IS DYING, ASK THEM TO WAIT UNTIL WE'RE DONE TALKING. DO NOT STOP TALKING TO ME TO CARRY ON A 10 MINUTE CONVERSATION WITH THEM, I HAVE OTHER SHIT TO DO TOO, BUT I'M LISTENING TO YOU SO GIVE ME THE SAME COURTESY...back to our regularly scheduled program...I don't want to talk much I'm just ready to get off the phone at this point. So I would just say, everything is fine and be done with it. Don't get me wrong I would rant and dump now and then, but not as often as she did. God love her, she's had a rough life.
Needless to say, I went through a rough time and instead of vomiting or looking for someone to hold my bucket, I kept it to myself and decided to back away from folks for a while. OMG, why on earth would I do that????? GF2 took it personal and cut me loose because I was being selfish. SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!?!?!
I guess that's part of the reason for this blog, those of you who choose to read it will be my pseudo bucket holders...thank you so much for that. Oh and if you want to post comments telling me to get over it, quit bitching, or remind me how someone out there has it worse than me....I'll save time now and tell you......go fuck yourself, this is my blog, free speech is for everyone and I'm not going to cater to what YOU want to read to make you feel all warm and fuzzy....if you don't like it.....find that little X in the corner, click it and get the fuck off my blog. Thanks for playing!
My friend calls, has life drama, so he/she vomits his/her shit all over me and into the bucket which I'm then responsible to tote around until I find a place to dump it. And trust me I need to dump it quickly because they'll be back to vomit more and if the bucket is full....guess where the overflow goes?
I don't mind so much...as long as someone is there to hold my bucket. There's the rub. I have yet to find someone willing to hold my bucket. Wait, I take that back, there was one who was willing, but used that "service" as a negotiating tactic to get sex. "I listened to you when no one else would, can't you hook me up because I'm such a great guy?" Ummmmm yeah...NO!
I'll give you a few examples and let's see if you think WFT?!?! like I did....
Girlfriend 1 - I had a stroke several years ago and was then having these episodes that I thought were mini-strokes, aka aftershocks. GF1 calls and says "how ya doin?" I say "not so great I think I've been having mini strokes and need to get back to the doctor to find out what's going on." GF1 - "oh don't feel bad, guess who stopped by my house today?!" She went on to tell me about some chick that was married to her ex-husband's brother who she couldn't stand.
You're doing the "Scooby-Doo-head-shake-while-staring-at-a-two-headed-sea-monster" face right? Uh huh...thought so!
Girlfriend 2 - would call 3 or 4 times a week to vomit her day on me which consisted of every minute detail of the last 10-12 hours. I shit you not, she would talk non stop about every little thing...about all 4 of her kids, her mother, boyfriend, people she worked with, the bitch in the drive-thru, her doctor's appointments (tons of them, she's very ill), everything. These conversations would last 1-3 hours and only when she was dry heaving because she had nothing left to puke....would she ask, "so how are you?" By this time I'm so freaking exhausted from listening to her in between her talking to her kids and or boyfriend....SIDE NOTE - I HATE THAT SHIT, IF YOU'RE ON THE PHONE WITH ME, UNLESS SOMEONE IS DYING, ASK THEM TO WAIT UNTIL WE'RE DONE TALKING. DO NOT STOP TALKING TO ME TO CARRY ON A 10 MINUTE CONVERSATION WITH THEM, I HAVE OTHER SHIT TO DO TOO, BUT I'M LISTENING TO YOU SO GIVE ME THE SAME COURTESY...back to our regularly scheduled program...I don't want to talk much I'm just ready to get off the phone at this point. So I would just say, everything is fine and be done with it. Don't get me wrong I would rant and dump now and then, but not as often as she did. God love her, she's had a rough life.
Needless to say, I went through a rough time and instead of vomiting or looking for someone to hold my bucket, I kept it to myself and decided to back away from folks for a while. OMG, why on earth would I do that????? GF2 took it personal and cut me loose because I was being selfish. SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!?!?!
I guess that's part of the reason for this blog, those of you who choose to read it will be my pseudo bucket holders...thank you so much for that. Oh and if you want to post comments telling me to get over it, quit bitching, or remind me how someone out there has it worse than me....I'll save time now and tell you......go fuck yourself, this is my blog, free speech is for everyone and I'm not going to cater to what YOU want to read to make you feel all warm and fuzzy....if you don't like it.....find that little X in the corner, click it and get the fuck off my blog. Thanks for playing!
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