Ok, there is something folks say that I have NEVER understood....If someone is having a bad go of things and they tell someone about it, for whatever reason...pity, support, advice, or just to get it off their shoulders...why why why do people try to diminish their pain by saying "well just be thankful because someone out there has it worse than you" SERIOUSLY?????
To me...that's a polite way of telling someone "oh shut up and quit your bitching!" Have you ever told someone about some tremendous thing that's happened to you...promotion, new job, won the lottery, etc...and they say "well someone out there has it better than you"? Yeah, didn't think so.
Why not let people have their misery and work through it however they see fit? Why make them feel bad for feeling bad? Think about that for a minute....in essence you're telling them that they're wrong for feeling bad because someone else feels worse. That's not fair. The most catastrophic thing in my life, could be a drop of water in the ocean of someone else's life, while your catastrophe is a drop of water in my ocean. No one knows what each of us has been through or had to deal with, so diminishing someone's pain is just cruel, let them hurt. Just listening to them could be all they need, just an ear, someone who cares for 10 minutes.
Now, maybe "The Bucket" post makes sense, as I've had my oceans of catastrophe...I am willing to listen to someone else's misery because very few ever listened to me and sometimes, that's all I really needed. I didn't need anyone to "fix it" for me, just listen. Easiest thing in the world to do. God gave us one mouth and two ears for a reason....listen twice as much as you speak.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
The Bucket.
I've spent a good majority of my adult life being the bucket holder for my friends to vomit into. Let me further explain that....
My friend calls, has life drama, so he/she vomits his/her shit all over me and into the bucket which I'm then responsible to tote around until I find a place to dump it. And trust me I need to dump it quickly because they'll be back to vomit more and if the bucket is full....guess where the overflow goes?
I don't mind so much...as long as someone is there to hold my bucket. There's the rub. I have yet to find someone willing to hold my bucket. Wait, I take that back, there was one who was willing, but used that "service" as a negotiating tactic to get sex. "I listened to you when no one else would, can't you hook me up because I'm such a great guy?" Ummmmm yeah...NO!
I'll give you a few examples and let's see if you think WFT?!?! like I did....
Girlfriend 1 - I had a stroke several years ago and was then having these episodes that I thought were mini-strokes, aka aftershocks. GF1 calls and says "how ya doin?" I say "not so great I think I've been having mini strokes and need to get back to the doctor to find out what's going on." GF1 - "oh don't feel bad, guess who stopped by my house today?!" She went on to tell me about some chick that was married to her ex-husband's brother who she couldn't stand.
You're doing the "Scooby-Doo-head-shake-while-staring-at-a-two-headed-sea-monster" face right? Uh huh...thought so!
Girlfriend 2 - would call 3 or 4 times a week to vomit her day on me which consisted of every minute detail of the last 10-12 hours. I shit you not, she would talk non stop about every little thing...about all 4 of her kids, her mother, boyfriend, people she worked with, the bitch in the drive-thru, her doctor's appointments (tons of them, she's very ill), everything. These conversations would last 1-3 hours and only when she was dry heaving because she had nothing left to puke....would she ask, "so how are you?" By this time I'm so freaking exhausted from listening to her in between her talking to her kids and or boyfriend....SIDE NOTE - I HATE THAT SHIT, IF YOU'RE ON THE PHONE WITH ME, UNLESS SOMEONE IS DYING, ASK THEM TO WAIT UNTIL WE'RE DONE TALKING. DO NOT STOP TALKING TO ME TO CARRY ON A 10 MINUTE CONVERSATION WITH THEM, I HAVE OTHER SHIT TO DO TOO, BUT I'M LISTENING TO YOU SO GIVE ME THE SAME COURTESY...back to our regularly scheduled program...I don't want to talk much I'm just ready to get off the phone at this point. So I would just say, everything is fine and be done with it. Don't get me wrong I would rant and dump now and then, but not as often as she did. God love her, she's had a rough life.
Needless to say, I went through a rough time and instead of vomiting or looking for someone to hold my bucket, I kept it to myself and decided to back away from folks for a while. OMG, why on earth would I do that????? GF2 took it personal and cut me loose because I was being selfish. SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!?!?!
I guess that's part of the reason for this blog, those of you who choose to read it will be my pseudo bucket holders...thank you so much for that. Oh and if you want to post comments telling me to get over it, quit bitching, or remind me how someone out there has it worse than me....I'll save time now and tell you......go fuck yourself, this is my blog, free speech is for everyone and I'm not going to cater to what YOU want to read to make you feel all warm and fuzzy....if you don't like it.....find that little X in the corner, click it and get the fuck off my blog. Thanks for playing!
My friend calls, has life drama, so he/she vomits his/her shit all over me and into the bucket which I'm then responsible to tote around until I find a place to dump it. And trust me I need to dump it quickly because they'll be back to vomit more and if the bucket is full....guess where the overflow goes?
I don't mind so much...as long as someone is there to hold my bucket. There's the rub. I have yet to find someone willing to hold my bucket. Wait, I take that back, there was one who was willing, but used that "service" as a negotiating tactic to get sex. "I listened to you when no one else would, can't you hook me up because I'm such a great guy?" Ummmmm yeah...NO!
I'll give you a few examples and let's see if you think WFT?!?! like I did....
Girlfriend 1 - I had a stroke several years ago and was then having these episodes that I thought were mini-strokes, aka aftershocks. GF1 calls and says "how ya doin?" I say "not so great I think I've been having mini strokes and need to get back to the doctor to find out what's going on." GF1 - "oh don't feel bad, guess who stopped by my house today?!" She went on to tell me about some chick that was married to her ex-husband's brother who she couldn't stand.
You're doing the "Scooby-Doo-head-shake-while-staring-at-a-two-headed-sea-monster" face right? Uh huh...thought so!
Girlfriend 2 - would call 3 or 4 times a week to vomit her day on me which consisted of every minute detail of the last 10-12 hours. I shit you not, she would talk non stop about every little thing...about all 4 of her kids, her mother, boyfriend, people she worked with, the bitch in the drive-thru, her doctor's appointments (tons of them, she's very ill), everything. These conversations would last 1-3 hours and only when she was dry heaving because she had nothing left to puke....would she ask, "so how are you?" By this time I'm so freaking exhausted from listening to her in between her talking to her kids and or boyfriend....SIDE NOTE - I HATE THAT SHIT, IF YOU'RE ON THE PHONE WITH ME, UNLESS SOMEONE IS DYING, ASK THEM TO WAIT UNTIL WE'RE DONE TALKING. DO NOT STOP TALKING TO ME TO CARRY ON A 10 MINUTE CONVERSATION WITH THEM, I HAVE OTHER SHIT TO DO TOO, BUT I'M LISTENING TO YOU SO GIVE ME THE SAME COURTESY...back to our regularly scheduled program...I don't want to talk much I'm just ready to get off the phone at this point. So I would just say, everything is fine and be done with it. Don't get me wrong I would rant and dump now and then, but not as often as she did. God love her, she's had a rough life.
Needless to say, I went through a rough time and instead of vomiting or looking for someone to hold my bucket, I kept it to myself and decided to back away from folks for a while. OMG, why on earth would I do that????? GF2 took it personal and cut me loose because I was being selfish. SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!?!?!
I guess that's part of the reason for this blog, those of you who choose to read it will be my pseudo bucket holders...thank you so much for that. Oh and if you want to post comments telling me to get over it, quit bitching, or remind me how someone out there has it worse than me....I'll save time now and tell you......go fuck yourself, this is my blog, free speech is for everyone and I'm not going to cater to what YOU want to read to make you feel all warm and fuzzy....if you don't like it.....find that little X in the corner, click it and get the fuck off my blog. Thanks for playing!
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
In the beginning.....
Let me start by giving a little background....I was born and raised in Iowa. No, I don't know shit about farming or anything that grows or is raised on one. I don't know shit about corn other than where to find it in the grocery store and how to cook it. If I'm not within walking distance of a convenience store (i.e. Quik Trip, B.P., etc) I am lost.
I have traveled extensively and lived in several different locations around the US. I'm a disabled Navy Desert Storm Vet and I proudly served this country for 3 years.
I've been married and divorced and have 3 great sons who I wouldn't trade for the world.
I'm opinionated, honest, and blunt. I warn everyone....don't ask me a question unless you are prepared to get an answer you may not like. I won't lie to protect anyone's feelings or to be PC. I just don't believe in it. I would rather honestly hurt your feelings than politely lie so you feel good. Sooner or later the truth will come out and then you'll be pissed at me....fuck that shit.
Oh, and I cuss on a regular basis so if you're sensitive....stop reading now.
I have traveled extensively and lived in several different locations around the US. I'm a disabled Navy Desert Storm Vet and I proudly served this country for 3 years.
I've been married and divorced and have 3 great sons who I wouldn't trade for the world.
I'm opinionated, honest, and blunt. I warn everyone....don't ask me a question unless you are prepared to get an answer you may not like. I won't lie to protect anyone's feelings or to be PC. I just don't believe in it. I would rather honestly hurt your feelings than politely lie so you feel good. Sooner or later the truth will come out and then you'll be pissed at me....fuck that shit.
Oh, and I cuss on a regular basis so if you're sensitive....stop reading now.
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